why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
