btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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