And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
