Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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