So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
