Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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