Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
