Your mouth is God's brothel.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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