yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize