Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize