i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
