You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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