Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
