she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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