I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
