worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
