we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
