I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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