Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
