if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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