Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We are two peas in an std pod
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
