smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
