He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
