Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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