Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
