Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
