What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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