The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
