Whod you bang
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
