party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
