Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
we should paint friendship bongs
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