this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
