And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
