Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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