clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize