the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
