I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
