she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
