you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
