i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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