You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
