I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
