Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
is that a dick in a sweater?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
