In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
