my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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