i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
