yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
