I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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