I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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