lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Damn victory sex feels great
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
