Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Can you bring me the toilet please
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
