think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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