NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
