these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
