She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
