You made me cry and you don't even care
look no pants
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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