Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
how does that bad decision feel?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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